What I am about to share with you is a thought I take very seriously. A thought that deserves my attention and yours and theirs. I have learned, on a very personal level, not to live in the closet. This closet that I have decided not to live in is overrun with shame, fear, guilt, embarrassment and is very crowded with people. People of all shapes and sizes, all accents, all experiences, all colors, all frame of religious or non religious backgrounds, all levels of income and handouts and all opinions. I live in a world of commercials, advertisements, newspapers, magazines, labels silk screened or otherwise, the Internet, Facebook and the like, texting, cell phones, all means of media available and public.
We publicize our products, we use methods of meeting life’s partner. We share our thoughts about a movie, its effects and defects. We share our hopes and our dreams, the food we like or dislike, the music we move to and brings us to a peak experience. Did I miss anything? And yet when I share who you are, I am not sensitive, that this is personal, this is a process. When I share who I am, I’m flaunting. When I name me and identify myself I am told to look both ways. You and I would not hesitate to give away how we make a living, we might get a new client, a new customer, a new patient, a new buyer, a new gig, a new opportunity.
My name is Connie and I am a lesbian in or out of a relationship. I call this sharing. I was married to a man for 18 years. I have 2 adult children, 13 grandchildren and 7 great grandchildren (and still going). I call this sharing. I made my living as a bookkeeper, a counselor and a business woman, and today I am an artist. I call this sharing. All in all what boundaries have I crossed, what secrets have I revealed, what embarrassment did I create? Come to think of it NONE. Your telling or my telling I am and you are should not be denied. When we are discrete, when we lie, when we fabricate her to him, him to her, we think we are protecting ourselves. What we are really doing is protecting the attitudes, the hate and the behavior of violence. Our sexuality is so private so personal, so denied. We have an unwritten law, don’t mention names. We use the alphabet to avoid spelling out the identity of the organization, the institution. Yes you are right I have no way of knowing how people will react. Rejection, loss of love, loss of job, loss of children, still very real and in spite of and because of these possibilities there is no time like the present to be and to be proud … to be in Every Room In The House.